pagepost – Phil's Failures

BIO

admin — Sun, 28 Jun 2020 08:02:12 +0000

Born in Toronto Canada, Phil Watson is a ~~London England~~ Toronto based failure. Phil’s failures span music, art, entrepreneurship, and positive thinking (change and improve punchline).

Philip’s company Easy Tiger Corp has been featured in Vice, The Huffington Post, and on the UK television show The Money Pit starring Jason Manford and Dominic Frisby.

Philip has also been in The Guardian, The Mirror, The Evening Standard, and The Metro, and a bunch of other publications after a video of him eating a banana seductively outside of the Chinese Embassy in London in protest of their seductive banana eating ban went viral.

2021 – ASMR (Nipple) Tweakerbot

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2020 09:00:30 +0000

The ASMR Tweakerbot is a Youtube channel devoted to the ASMR sounds of Nipples being Tweaked. It is so far my biggest failure, with a total of ZERO subscribers. lol

2020 – Bury Your Grandma .com

admin — Sat, 27 Jun 2020 00:58:17 +0000

BuryYourGrandma.com is a website created in aid of getting people back to work, it’s a place where people who want the quarantine to end now, can meet halfway, the people who want the quarantine to continue, by volunteering to help those people, bury their elderly relatives.

2020 – The Next Recession Reviews

admin — Fri, 26 Jun 2020 00:42:43 +0000

The Next Recession Reviews is a Youtube channel devoted to providing practical survival advice for dystopian times.

2019 – Making Interview with Phil

admin — Thu, 25 Jun 2020 00:32:15 +0000

Making Interview with Phil is a Youtube interview series where I ask people annoying-ish questions in my spare time for my own entertainment. Here’s an example:

2016 – Erotic Banana Protest

admin — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 01:58:51 +0000

It’s hard to write about this without grinding to a halt in a fit of self loathing, so I’m not going to. Instead you can just watch the video from the Guardian which nicely sums up the whole weird story.

For some reason this story ended up going viral-ish and has been covered in the following places.

2015 – Watson’s Review of Amateur Poetry

admin — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 01:37:00 +0000

In my spare time I used to enjoy reviewing amateur poetry on the internet.

You can find more of these videos on our Facebook page linked to below.

Links:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Watsons-Review-of-Amateur-Poetry/1429345240710492

2014 – Vintage Dogs

admin — Wed, 10 Jun 2015 01:38:17 +0000

Vintage Dogs was a fake business set up to promote my terrible pop music project Math Party. It’s hard to explain so I will let the site Something Awful do the honours:

Vintage Dogs is an “E-commerce Pet Store.” To help differentiate itself from other online pet store scams, Vintage Dogs only sells dogs that are age 15 or older, thus sparing you from the gruesome spectre of adorable puppies:

Older dogs are far better better behaved than younger ones. They are much cleaner. They no longer tend to “rub up against” house guests legs. By 15 they no longer usually urinate or defecate in the house. They are also much less likely to bite children. These dogs are “Vintage Dogs” and they are the future of pet owner luxury.

Vintage Dogs’ pricing starts at $2,500, the cost of an elderly chihuahua, and tops out with its $9,000 poodles. For comparison’s sake, Bart Simpson only paid $1,200 for Laddie. No offense to the dogs pictured in these stock photos, but they aren’t exactly Laddie material.

There are so many things wrong with this promotional video, starting with the inappropriate song choice of “Sex With A Lady,” which plays over footage of a dog frolicking. The tail-wagging good times come to an abrupt end with this disclaimer, which basically makes you an accessory to dog murder:

It goes on from there and I encourage you to read it on their site for a laugh.

http://old-www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/vintage-dogs.php

http://www.vintagedogs.net/

2012 – Fresh Dick or Grizzled Penis

admin — Sat, 06 Jun 2015 23:55:55 +0000

Fresh Dick or Grizzled Penis is a defunct Hot or Not style celebrity website created in 2xxx. Instead of voting on whether or not the person on the front page of the site was hot or not, they voted on whether they thought the displayed celebrity would have a “Fresh Dick” or a “Grizzled Penis”. No photos of genitals for the purpose of verification were shown on the site. Unsurprisingly Fresh Dick or Grizzled Penis was a huge failure and was shut down very quickly.

2009 – Easy Tiger Corp

admin — Fri, 05 Jun 2015 01:36:19 +0000

Founded in 2009, the most famous of Phil’s failures, Easy Tiger Corp was dreamt up years earlier when Phil found a horribly skidded pair of panties while doing his laundry in his university residence. The underwear’s owner, who can’t be named for legal reasons, quickly developed the nickname “Skids” in the halls of residence and very shortly afterwards transferred to a different university. Feeling guilty for naming and shaming the girl, Philip came up with the idea for Easy Tiger’s Pre-Stained Underwear. Philip reasoned that if she had been wearing underwear that came pre-stained she would have had an excuse for the awful state of it.

Easy Tiger Corp has been written about in Vice, the Huffington Post, as well as a host of other blogs.

Links:

Facebook Group : https://www.facebook.com/pages/Easy-Tiger-Corp/361160660715142

Easy Tiger Corp website : www.easytigercorp.co.uk